No Couple Is an Island - Let's Bring Back the Tribe

Relationships today means only the relation which you have with your spouse or life partner. When did this happen?

According to media,the other family members do not seem to figure in One's life except on the designated days- mother's,father's children and the likes.

Nuclear family members who on a day-to- day basis only barely survive in today's world,with a lot stress related disorders- just 3 or 4 individuals of very different proclivities struggling their best to cope with each other and grow. Annual reunions and festivals dinner don't count.

"The cave people had it right..one big tumbling tribe....In the apparently barbaric days of yore,the men protected and women hunted or men hunted and women kept home or so-or whatever- whatever it was,it was done in teams. Lone hunter or lone housewife wouldn't have survived the jungle,it was probably tried and tested.

The joint family system-that slightly smaller version of the tribe,had things going fine for a time as well.

Under condition of  absolute nature,meaning,all receiving due respect regardless of any gender differences or life choices,man and woman display different propensities and skills,something,from childhood. The woman prefer cooperation,nurturing and healing,making daily living comfortable,secure and finds satisfaction in the happiness and approval of all around.The man prefer winning the competiion,fighting it out in the world,commanding respect and envy of peers,enjoying the power of having dependents and protecting them. For survival,neither sets of aptitudes and attitudes are dispensable and so neither can they be belittled.

Joint family were successful long time ago. Just 2 teams collaboration for survival of the organization-family.Each relationship had its place. This is probably an over simplified example,but a developer and sales person may not appreciate each others' skills and problems but both teams are equally essential for a company and nobody argues with that. In a good team of own kind,one feels appreciated and supported,and is open to criticism.

In the joint family,every man and woman had a support system of those who are mostly in the same shoes, and therefore could understand,advise and most importantly,be valued for the same reasons. The spouse need not fill the shoe of the parent or peer or not fill the shoe of  the parent or peer or the many other relationships that have their unique privileges.

There is no feeling of isolation or rejection and more over,not much time to feel so. Kids and grand parents are valued like work and upkeep,for they have their place,nurturing each other emotionally and spiritually. The flip side was that there is a constant undercurrent of war for survival in the clash of tastes,preferences,opinions and choices.